Here is the lyrics for a song called "Settle Down" by Kimbra, that my friend showed to me when I was telling him about our blog.
I wanna settle down
I wanna settle down
Won't you settle down with me?
Settle down
We can settle at a table..
A table for two
Won't you wine and dine with me?
Settle down
I wanna raise a child
I wanna raise a child
Won't you raise a child with me...
Raise a child
We'll call her Nebraska
Nebraska Jones
She'll have your nose
Just so you know
I wanna settle down
I wanna settle down
Won't you settle down with me?
Settle down
Run from Angela Vickers
I saw her with you
Monday morning small talking on the avenue
She's got a fancy car
She wants to take you far
From the city lights and sounds deep into the dark
Star so light and star so bright
First star i see tonight!
Star so light and star so bright
Keep him by side!
I wanna settle down
I wanna settle down
Baby there's no need to run
I'll love you well
I wanna settle down
It's time to bring you down
On just one knee for now
Lets make our vows
I think that this song is interesting because, I feel, that it shows how a lot of women in our society feel about marriage. They want to find a man--compelled maybe...???--and settle down; get married and have children. Some women are even consumed by this idea. As the song suggests, most women do not like other women getting near their men. I'm not sure why, but I see it happen all of the time. Women seem to be overprotective of their man, especially when other women are around. This reminds me of Compulsory Heterosexuality: women are compelled to be with men, and I guess in a sense "taught" to want to keep a man once they get one. I have seen girls utterly heartbroken and devastated when they have been broken up with. I have been in that situation too, and I understand that it is hard to like someone a lot--maybe even love them--and have them walk away from you, but is there something else being played out in this situation?
Do you think that when women are broken up they are not only sad because they liked the guy but also subconsciously are sad because they "lost the man" that they were compelled to be with by society? Do you think that women feel like failures when they are broken up with because they can't measure up to keeping a man, like they have been compelled to do?
Not exactly answering your question, but -- I've noticed from discussions with my friends strange patterns regarding when women and men want to "settle down," get married and have children. Some of my friends that are girls will say they want this right away even if they plan to have a career of their own, as well. A few of my guy friends know the exact age they want to have children claiming they definitely want children after they have "lived their life a little." The instant someone enters the conversation who does not want to have children and does not want to get married, everyone starts adjusting their statements as if that is the right thing to do in society today. This seems to come from a man each time I am involved in one of these conversations. Girls around me will change their answer as if it matters what this one man thinks about when she wants to "settle down." It seems to be more important today to focus on yourself and your career than to even consider having children before the age of 30 or to plan out when you want to have children. Just as we've talked about a balance between genders rather than women trying to surpass men to be the dominant gender, it seems unproductive to switch from generations that value creating families to generations which value careers.
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