Concrete

Today in class we talked about Ortner's article; about how women are closer to nature and men are closer to culture. I have to agree with Ortner that women's psyche is completely different from men! Women do think about things that are different from men--more concrete details, and often more domestic topics. I had a boyfriend over the summer, and while he was a nice guy (for the most part) he wanted to be the dominant one in the relationship (which I could use a whole other blog post to talk about), and when we broke up he told me that he couldn't be with me (partly) because we "never talk about anything philosophical or deep."

Now...why would he say that? I am going to have to relate it back to Ortner's article, and say that because he is a man, and is very intelligent, that he "got tired" of hearing me talk about "everyday" subjects. The only thing that I have to say back to that is "fuck you," but instead I feel like everyday subjects are the subjects that really mean something to me. And to most women, I would say. I feel that women care about everyday occurrences because they really care about people. Maybe I'm generalizing women here, and I don't mean to because there are men that care about everyday subjects, and people, as well. These things have a value and a meaning to me because I care about others and what is going on around me. I'm sure that I was socialized as a woman to feel this way, but I think that in order to help people and to be a good friend then you need to concern yourself with others and everyday things. I like to talk about people's feelings and what they did and gossip and nail painting. Women put a lot of value on these subjects, and maybe that is why everyone is trying to recreate their mother-child relationship. Your mom listens to you and helps you solve your problems. She concerns herself with what you are concerned about, versus your Dad who is just there, maybe for more "philosophical and deep" stuff. Maybe if men were different and concerned themselves with domestic topics and everyday subjects then people would be trying to be with them as they are with women!

I feel that, socially, it is women's role to be the listener and the problem-solver, and people do appreciate this role, even if it is undervalued. So, as a girlfriend can I talk about deep and philosophical stuff? Absolutely. Do I want to talk about deep and philosophical stuff with whomever I am dating? Maybe, and I probably would. But on a daily basis I want to concern myself with what they did for the day and things that they liked. I want to appreciate them and show them this, and the only way that I can do that is to talk about everyday stuff with them!