Every day I talk to my Dad on the phone. We are very close and we enjoy chatting with each other. However, usually I am upset at something that happened during the day, such as an issue with a sorority sister (which is more often than not the case), and thus I want to talk to my Dad about it because he always gives me good advice on how to handle the situation.
The other night I was ranting to him about one of my sisters who had greatly annoyed me, and he asked me "Why are you always so concerned with what another girl is doing? Why are women always concerned with this useless crap? What do you care what [said sister] does or says to you? Just try and let it go! [Said sister] doesn't mean anything in the context of your whole life, so don't let her ruin your day!"
This made me think of the Ortner article that we read. Of course I am concerned with what my sisters are doing and they are concerned with what I am doing because I feel that we are conditioned to do so! Society tells us that because we are girls we need to be nit-picky with each other, and we often say things to each other that are nit-picky, and mostly hurtful. I told my Dad "If I didn't talk to you about [said sister] irritating me to no end, then what would I talk to you about?" He replied "I don't know. The weather, your philosophy classes, what you ate for lunch, etc." See? I want to talk about particulars and my Dad wants to talk about general concepts!
Society has shaped each gender to want to talk about different things. Men are not supposed to have "feelings" and to show emotion, while women are encouraged to do so. And it's hard, as a woman, not to want to nit-pick at others and things. It just seems like such a natural thing to do, and every other woman around you is doing it too! Men just aren't interested in hearing about that stuff I suppose.....but then, what are men and women supposed to talk about since they are interested in completely different topics?
I too experience this dilemma. I don't have a great response to your question but what I find myself doing is talking about both concepts and particulars. I know that some of my male friends don't actually care about the drama and my emotions but I have to get them out so I'll tell them (and get no response haha), and then talk about things they're interested. What sucks is that I consciously decide what to talk about with them, so they're more engaged and actually talk. But when we find topics we're both interested we can usually keep a good convo going. My dad asks the same kinds of things though, and doesn't understand why I let some people get to me so much. Perhaps on some levels they're right.
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