So I decided to call my Dad and talk to him about the Frye ("Men are parasites") article that we read in class the other day. My Dad is a very open, and accepting guy, and I do not feel that my parents engage in a dominate/subordinate relationship, so I thought that he might be good to talk to about the article.
I gave him a summary of it and the ideas presented. He said that he felt that men need women for emotional and mental support and care, but that women need men as well. He simply stated that women need men for protection and financial security, which I thought was a very "male gaze" thing to say. I promptly told him that I know how to shoot a gun and that I am going to college to earn a degree to support myself, so why would else would I need a man? He didn't really have an answer for me after that (LOL) but he did make some good points that I agree with. He said that modern technology has driven us away from what we used to be, which is just animals out in the wild hunting for food to survive. We no long have to worry about hunting in the forest to get food. Instead we worry about Twitter and the latest music that is out, etc. He said that because of this we have over-complicated ourselves. It used to be that man and woman would get together to procreate, just like other animals out in the wild would. The man would help protect the woman while she was pregnant, and he would hunt for food for her, etc. As technology has advanced us into the modern age we need less of a reliance on the opposite sex to get things done for ourselves. But our biological nature tells us that we need each other, for procreation/sex/protection/etc. Thus, there are more complicated problems between men and women than there were over 2,000 years ago because we are going against our animalistic natures and embracing modern society.
I have to agree with my Dad that we are going against something that is biological for us because we think differently than human beings did long ago. Our technology has driven us away from our dependance on each other. Tying this in with the Frye article, I can see how women might view men as parasites. Maybe women have advanced more away from being dependent on men, than men have from women. Women feel that they can do anything now that men can do. Thus, they are more independent and self-reliant. For whatever reason, men (maybe) have not advanced in that way like women have. Thus, in some way, men can be viewed as parasites on women because they still need/want to depend on women for things, when women now realize that they do not need a man for things which they can do themselves. And I feel that the modernization of our society has caused this.
I want to say that I completely agree that modernization has shaped our society to behold parasitic relationships! More so, I want to say that I totally agree that technology has changed the way this society has been shaped for these relationships! In the post above it was mentioned that technology has driven us away from what parasitic relationships used to be. That couldn't be farther from the truth! The reasoning behind these relationships used to be for survival purposes. Women depending on the male figure for protection and food, while the men depended on the women for things like child baring (raising the children) and cooking. With the way technology has shaped our society today, in my opinion those 'needs' have become more lustful 'wants'(on most occasions). For example, today we view/use sex for more than starting a family. Sometimes it is even seen as a woman's duty to keep her partner sexual satisfied. I would concider that a lustful parasitic relationship! Taking that a step farther, the use of pornography (for both men and women) is used to satisfy these lustful wants without the need of an actual relationship, it has been satisfied by technology! Not only in the lustful situation but in a biological situation, we do not need the parasitic relationships we used to hundereds of years ago. Today, we don't need to be dependent on a partner to become pregnant with a child! Medical technology has given us the opportunity to have a child without any physical interaction/relationship. With all the technology and the numerous social media networks we have at our fingertips, I can't help but wonder if relationships (parasitic or not) will continue to deminish and become reliant on technology?
ReplyDeleteI agree that interpersonal relationships have, in some ways, begun to diminish as a result of technology; consider facebook or online dating sites - you can be "in a relationship" with someone or "friends" with someone without ever meeting them in person! However, I don't know if I agree with your concept of a lustful parasitic relationship. From what I understand you to be saying, the development of technology has shifted our 'sexual focus' as it were from procreating and raising a family to one in which we enjoy and have sex because it feels good, not just as a means for reproduction; and that this shift in focus has made us more concerned with fulfilling our desire for sex than holding and maintaining a relationship (a relationship that used to be required to have sex). Personally, this sounds a little too Freudian for me. Further, even with the development of technology and everything that comes along with it (Facebook, pornography, artificial insemination, etc.), I think that people still value relationships with others just as much as they did in the past, maybe even more. After all, I suppose one could argue that Facebook and online dating sites are means by which to create more relationships rather than a means by which to replace in-person relationships for virtual ones.
DeleteOverall, I agree. In particular, I love what you had to say about women becoming more independent and thereby, seeing men more so as parasites; whereas men do not see women in the same light, but rather, as a valued companion. Although, I still believe that we are following our biological natures in regards to relationships between men and women. After all, we still continue to search for suitable partners with which to have sex and procreate, and men continue to feel as if they have to be the "protector" and/or the "bread winner". Further, many women continue to opt to stay home to raise their children while letting their husbands support them and the household.
ReplyDeleteMost relationships are uniquely different from person to person and couple to couple. If a relationship is deficient in some regard, it is generally a result of one member of the relationship breaching what is expected. This comes down to communicating what each person expects and respecting the expectations of the other to the degree that a compromise benefits both parties. If a man (or woman) in a relationship is parasitic, it is probably because the parasite is taking more than is expected in some way (emotionally, financially, temporally, etc.) and the person who the parasite drains avoids the impending confrontation.
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