The good news for Hymowitz and those legions of desperate women is that the problem isn’t as dire as they believe. They may simply be looking for love in all the wrong places, because the men they want do exist. But good men of quiet confidence and maturity by definition don’t draw attention to themselves, so the search may be a little like finding Waldo in a crowd of males who feel emasculated, useless and defensive, and who respond by retreating into frat-boy man-caves and dragging out their “pre-adulthood.” Their immaturity is reflected in, and reinforced by, entertainment biz exemplars like Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell, in contrast with the iconic masculine confidence of the John Waynes and Clark Gables of eras past.
So what is to be done? Is this indeed the end of men? Will men ever be men again, in the positive, old-fashioned sense? Will women ever be able to find a real man to partner with instead of a “guy” to babysit?
They will be when our news media stop demonizing men and traditional values; when radical academics stop sowing division between the sexes; and when pop culture stops rewarding bad behavior and perpetuating tired old stereotypes like the Hapless Sitcom Dad. Men will be men again when both men and women understand that appreciating age-old gender differences is not a threat to gender equality; when we raise our boys to be responsible, respectful, honorable; and when we teach them to be as proud of their masculine nature as we teach our girls to be proud of their feminine one.
Full text :In Defense of Traditional Gender Roles
Before taking this class I probably would have agreed with some of these statements. I didn't care if all guys weren't "manly men", but I believed in traditional qualities (hard-working, honest, respectful) for men to have. But saying men need to "man up" and women need to remain "feminine" begs the question, "what does it mean to be feminine"? After reading everything we've read, I'm not sure I can give a clear answer to that without my answer being culturally constructed to fit gender roles and feed into the male hierarchy. Thoughts?
I can appreciate the idea of instilling good values into youth and teaching them to take pride in who they are. Certainly, boys and girls are different in some respects, but how do you teach someone to be proud of being a boy/girl?
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that the values that someone who is "good" should have are enough. If you are good and a boy you will be a good boy and if you are good and a girl you will be a good girl. Being good at being a boy or good at being a girl is as useful as calling a person a good person because they are a person.