I was on the phone with my mom earlier today and we were talking about my sister's dance she had last night for an organization that she is in through school. Girls ask the guys and it's always been a big deal for everyone to dress up, go out to dinner and go to the dance and dance with their date and other people. These days, dancing is more of "grinding" as my mom calls it. She doesn't understand why a girl wants to "grind" on a guy and doesn't understand why it's called dancing. She said she was talking to my aunt about it and at the school in her district that her kids went to, they banned one of their dances and students now have to sign a contract to attend prom saying they will not "grind" and if they're caught, they will be expelled.
My aunt and my mom thought that was a good idea. My aunt even said that she saw a girl when she was a chaperone that was a really good kid and she saw her "grinding" on a guy and the guy standing behind her with his hands on hips and touching her butt. She judged the girl and condemned the girl for the dancing. Nothing was said about the guy when he was at fault, too. He stood there and let it happen without stopping it because he liked it, just like she enoyed doing it. The guys are doing just as worse while they're touching all over the girl, but it's okay for him.
Women are seen differently for dancing like this and men don't get any ridicule for doing just as much as women. It isn't fair. Why are the girls the only ones talked about for "grinding" when guys are just at fault?
This probably isn't right, but my guess is that it comes from the history of dancing and courtship and "rules" or etiquette between women and men. For example, a young man asks a lady to dance and while they are touching, he is doing so respectfully by watching where those hands go because a "respectful" lady would not allow herself to be touched in an inappropriate manner. So maybe this attack and pointed finger at girls is due to this idea society still has of women's actions mirroring their amount of self-respect (or lack of one).
ReplyDeleteAnd of course men can just do whatever the hell they want.
Hmmmm that's an interesting idea, and one that I wouldn't have necessarily thought of, but it makes sense. Throughout history, it has been the responsibility of the woman to make sure that she is not touched in an inappropriate manner, and if she is, she is expected to slap or otherwise reject the touch. I think this might also play out in rape cases; until recently, it was presumed that the woman had somehow "asked" for or invited the unwanted contact, and that she was a "whore" or "slut" for allowing such a thing to happen. It's sad, but it definitely shows that we live in a very patriarchal society.
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