I looked online and saw my compliment.
I was too happy for words, I could not believe what I read.
I was seen more than just a kind heart; I was seen as sexual.
I happily asked my close friends "Who wrote this?"
I thought it was a silly poem to make me laugh.
But all of them had no genuine clue who said these words.
And now I truly hope for the author to be my friend.
And I genuinely am ashamed of how caught up I became.
If this was not my friend, then who?
I realized tonight that I applauded for the male gaze.
With my arms open I welcomed him into my life.
I even included a shaky facebook thank you.
If this was not my friend, then who?
For if this was a stranger, then they see me as an object.
Nice. Sweet. And Sexual.
I am horrified about my reaction.
The deception in front of my face.
And I blindly followed with only gratitude.
So where do I run from here?
Are compliments the only thing I treasure?
And how did I miss something so close?
I try to let go, and I try to be different.
It's sort of sad that I can find myself here.
Giving the male gaze a hug, and saying "I'm so glad you're here."
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Jumping Mouse
I am the jumping mouse, I jump for laughter.
I mold my way into hearts, and I laugh.
I seek to fit in, to belong in the circles.
I wish to walk among the crowd.
I am the jumping mouse, I jump for smiles.
I give compliments, and I smile.
I hope to be a good friend, to be loyal.
I listen to the most amazing stories.
I am the jumping mouse, I jump for peace.
I try to change outcomes, and I listen.
I want everyone to get along, to be happy.
I wish to be the best foundation.
I am the jumping mouse, I jump too late.
I see them go on in their lives, and I remain.
To be the jumping mouse, to be me.
It requires a certain distance, a certain reservation.
To be the jumping mouse, to be me.
I give up my own uniquie personailty.
I fit the male gaze in my own way,
I make things better, but forget about my dreams.
Luckily a voice remains, and reminds me to be stronger.
Luckily it's never too late to start over.
I mold my way into hearts, and I laugh.
I seek to fit in, to belong in the circles.
I wish to walk among the crowd.
I am the jumping mouse, I jump for smiles.
I give compliments, and I smile.
I hope to be a good friend, to be loyal.
I listen to the most amazing stories.
I am the jumping mouse, I jump for peace.
I try to change outcomes, and I listen.
I want everyone to get along, to be happy.
I wish to be the best foundation.
I am the jumping mouse, I jump too late.
I see them go on in their lives, and I remain.
To be the jumping mouse, to be me.
It requires a certain distance, a certain reservation.
To be the jumping mouse, to be me.
I give up my own uniquie personailty.
I fit the male gaze in my own way,
I make things better, but forget about my dreams.
Luckily a voice remains, and reminds me to be stronger.
Luckily it's never too late to start over.
And I Wonder If...
Somedays I feel as free as the wind,
The call of the world hovering around me.
Somedays I feel as empty as the land.
The trees were cut and their stumps remain.
Today I feel like Brutus.
I stabbed my friend Caesar in the back.
He asks me what he did wrong.
And I can only answer with: nothing.
Somedays I feel as happy as the river.
I can go places and see everything.
Somedays I feel like the river rock.
Will I be able to make this change?
Today I feel like Homer.
I can write about my memories.
I tell myself I made the right call.
And I am excited about the future.
In this moment, and in this life.
I won't know if I make the right choices.
In this moment, and in this life.
Will I make a difference in the lives of others?
And I wonder if...
I can be the woman I always dreamed of.
And I wonder if...
I still have enough time to change the world.
The call of the world hovering around me.
Somedays I feel as empty as the land.
The trees were cut and their stumps remain.
Today I feel like Brutus.
I stabbed my friend Caesar in the back.
He asks me what he did wrong.
And I can only answer with: nothing.
Somedays I feel as happy as the river.
I can go places and see everything.
Somedays I feel like the river rock.
Will I be able to make this change?
Today I feel like Homer.
I can write about my memories.
I tell myself I made the right call.
And I am excited about the future.
In this moment, and in this life.
I won't know if I make the right choices.
In this moment, and in this life.
Will I make a difference in the lives of others?
And I wonder if...
I can be the woman I always dreamed of.
And I wonder if...
I still have enough time to change the world.
"God" in the Androcentric Society
So...I was sitting down to the shuffle on my iTunes list when Rudy Fransisco came up. This particular piece, for those of you who aren't familiar with him, is about God and what exactly God is in our society. The masculinity of God has been clear in western society from the earliest times God is talked about, and how that plays out in today echoes what was playing out in biblical history.
It's interesting to see what Fransisco has to say about "God" as the shadow of the predominate class in our society. Does God just become a tool for this predominate class? If indeed it does, what does that say about women in "God's" society? Fransisco seems to suggest that women are being objectified for the use of the predominate class. Prior to having taken this course, I might have hesitated to agree...But after taking a second look, a harder gaze, I would have to say that he is right. I get behind what he's saying, and it speaks volumes about what is happening through religious means in our society.
Supporting the "shadow" of God becomes a platform for the calculated oppression of minorities, or "others." Anyone who is not the predominate class becomes lesser than the predominate class, and it is paraded as truth by means of "divine authority."
Is it strange to think of God as ungendered? Would it be helpful or counterproductive to think of God as "she?"
Just wondering...Here's the link to the video
"Now a man was born to go a lovin'....But was a woman born to weep and fret? And stay at home and tend her oven...And drown her past regrets in coffee and cigarettes..." -- k. d. Lang, "Black Coffee"
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Always Off-Stage
A theory that we have in sociology is dramaturgy. The simple version of this is that sometimes we are onstage where we perform a certain way for the people that we are around, and at other times we are offstage, or backstage, and this is where we are our true selves. This theory can apply to many different parts of our lives, but recently I was talking to some of my friends about it when it comes to gender.
I talked about in class how last semester we dressed as the other gender for another one my classes. The genders that were portrayed were the ones that we thought that gender was when they were "onstage". Today in Walmart I saw a girl that was dressed as your stereotypical boy. Her mother got mad her because of how she was dressed and wanted her to "dress more like a girl". It made me think of what we talked about in class where we are always finding ways to reinforce the male side of what it means to be a female.
If we get rid of the ideas of gender, what will be the role that we play on stage verses the roles that we play off stage look like? Will there even be one or the other or will it just be one? It is hard to see how things will be if we lose something that has been such a big part of our lives. My own opinion about it is there will still be an on stage and a off stage performance due to our need to impress people and the constant want to make sure that people are comfortable and that they like you. This involves switching roles sometimes because everyone has different interest that you have to please. The only difference is that one's role switching will not be based off of gender, but different factors that people find in you.
Stepping Over the Line
Right now I am in a Race and Ethnicity class and one day we were talking about interracial relationships. The same way you do not see too many homosexual, transsexual, anything but heterosexual relationships on television, you don't see too many interracial couples. But the media s not really the the reason why I bring up this point.
Something that we talked about is when is it acceptable for someone to go outside of their race and be in a relationship with someone outside of their race. Throughout then entire discussion it was men that were able to cross between these boundaries. They were able to seek out women of different races easily while it was the women who were the ones that seemed to be pieces of the game that they could just trade off.
Many women would seek men inside of their own racial categories and it wasn't until a man of another race "noticed" them that they were actually able to be in a relationship with someone outside of their racial group. Men are the ones that are in charge of determining who can date who; not only in the world of races, but also in the world of sexuality (mainly because you can't have one without the other).
Think about it. When most people see and interracial couple, they see the man dating the woman. For instance, take a black man and a white woman dating, or even a white man and a black woman dating. What people will see is the black man dating the white woman, or the white man dating the black woman, not so much vice versa. I just thought it was interesting that even when it comes to going outside of one's racial groups to date it is still determined by the man.
Something that we talked about is when is it acceptable for someone to go outside of their race and be in a relationship with someone outside of their race. Throughout then entire discussion it was men that were able to cross between these boundaries. They were able to seek out women of different races easily while it was the women who were the ones that seemed to be pieces of the game that they could just trade off.
Many women would seek men inside of their own racial categories and it wasn't until a man of another race "noticed" them that they were actually able to be in a relationship with someone outside of their racial group. Men are the ones that are in charge of determining who can date who; not only in the world of races, but also in the world of sexuality (mainly because you can't have one without the other).
Think about it. When most people see and interracial couple, they see the man dating the woman. For instance, take a black man and a white woman dating, or even a white man and a black woman dating. What people will see is the black man dating the white woman, or the white man dating the black woman, not so much vice versa. I just thought it was interesting that even when it comes to going outside of one's racial groups to date it is still determined by the man.
Only a Female
"A woman who cannot make her mistakes charming, is only a female"
I came across this quote today and thought it would be good to share! It really hit home on how some things make being a female seem so wrong. This quote for example makes it seem so negative to be not be perfect and that all of those imperfections make one a female. If one cannot make their mistakes appear flawless, is claiming the submissive of only being a female. This quote raised one main question in my mind: What is the difference that this quote references between woman and female? This makes it seem as though being a woman and a female are almost two different things and that being a female is the submissive of the two.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Chivalry
I was walking into science center today and as I approached the door a guy that I know, but who generally seems to be kinda rude to me opened the door and allowed me to enter the building before him. I was slightly puzzled seeing how we generally enter the building around the same time every day and not one other time has he held open the door. Once I walked into the building I realized that there was a tour to perspective students being given a few feet behind us. There were also 3 other hanover male students and 2 female students heading toward the same door we entered. This made me come to the conclusion that the only reason he held the door open for me was to look good in front of the touring families and other students.
It made me think about how much chivarly and the meaning of chivalry has changed. It seems like two or three generations ago people actually did things for women out of respect thoughtfulness. Now a days (not it all cases) it seems that men perform these acts of chivalry to make themselves look better. And maybe even more manly to other men and bystanders. Do you guys think that chivalry has changed in this way? Do you think that some/many men perform these acts only to benefit themselves instead of doing them to show respect for women?
It made me think about how much chivarly and the meaning of chivalry has changed. It seems like two or three generations ago people actually did things for women out of respect thoughtfulness. Now a days (not it all cases) it seems that men perform these acts of chivalry to make themselves look better. And maybe even more manly to other men and bystanders. Do you guys think that chivalry has changed in this way? Do you think that some/many men perform these acts only to benefit themselves instead of doing them to show respect for women?
Baby Picture
I was looking through Pinterest, and spotted this gem. Yes, at first glance, it is the most precious thing, right?
Imagine this picture without the pearls and flower headband. Now, analyzing the position of the baby and the angle it was shot, you'll find that there is simply no way of distinguishing the "gender" of this infant by its genetalia. Parents are putting on the "costume" in order for their child to present its female gender and will continue to do so until the child can do so for itself.
Imagine this picture without the pearls and flower headband. Now, analyzing the position of the baby and the angle it was shot, you'll find that there is simply no way of distinguishing the "gender" of this infant by its genetalia. Parents are putting on the "costume" in order for their child to present its female gender and will continue to do so until the child can do so for itself.
This post is similar to my previous one of the little girl with her mother and makeup -both are depicting "performing gender" as Butler explains it; they are both adorning themselves in order to present a certain image, that for an infant, clearly means nothing because they don't have an acknowledgment of being or a conscious. But since we live in a black and white society where everything must be categorize, we make sure to elaborately display the "gender" of children. Would it be less "cute" or less "precious" if the baby wasn't adorn? Not me, and I'd hope not to others either -so why does "gender" matter?
Hip Hip Hooray!
I wanted to share something with the class. Last night, our very own Kate Johnson was celebrated among other women at the annual Women's Appreciation Banquet hosted by Kaleidoscope on campus. These are women who have impacted the Hanover community and were nominated to be recognize.
During the dinner, a woman from Franklin College gave a brief speech on successful women and gave some key points on how to be one and one of them that really stood out to me, which was that as women, we must support other women too in any way we can. This stood out to me because in this male-oriented, capitalistic society we are taught that in order to be #1 we must only think about only one person: ourselves. In doing so, we are undermining the importance of relationships. How can we progress if we don't encourage and motivate each other? I think if we stop viewing life as a competition and instead view it as a collaborative job, then we can really see women strive.
Congratulations, Professor Johnson!
During the dinner, a woman from Franklin College gave a brief speech on successful women and gave some key points on how to be one and one of them that really stood out to me, which was that as women, we must support other women too in any way we can. This stood out to me because in this male-oriented, capitalistic society we are taught that in order to be #1 we must only think about only one person: ourselves. In doing so, we are undermining the importance of relationships. How can we progress if we don't encourage and motivate each other? I think if we stop viewing life as a competition and instead view it as a collaborative job, then we can really see women strive.
Congratulations, Professor Johnson!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
A manager's nightmare
I was having a conversation with some friends who told me quite plainly why it is that women are so often passed up in the career world. The reasoning is based on a lot of assumptions, so naturally it makes perfect sense and is applicable in all situations (where's the sarcasm font?).
Number one is that when you are looking to hire a professional a manager's worst nightmare is that they put X amount of TME (time, money, and energy) into an employee who they EXPECT to keep on a short leash for the next 20-30-40 years (corporate slavery). The manager looks at a man and says, "great, unless you get killed or horrifically mangled, you're coming in to work every day for the next 30+". The manager looks at a woman and says, "hmm, sorry ms. X, seems to me that you could get pregnant and then I'm going to have to still pay you while you give me nothing. How am I supposed to maintain my inflated salary with you draining my TME with your family?"
This is not fair. Not all women even have the desire to have children, but it seems like managers across the country are trained to believe that a woman won't follow through with a career. It's a disgrace, how do you remove such a huge gender bias?
What's the deal with history???
Throughout history classes, the leaders that are revered and brought to our attention all seem to be men, especially nationals. Is there underlying nationalism sparking sexism in history classes? Think about it. How often do we learn all about Elizabeth of England, Joan of Arc of France, Catherine the Great of Russia, Wu Zetian of China, Theodora of Byzantium, Maria Theresa of Austria, etc? These people were rulers of great nations and yet they are not talked about, we learn instead about Winston Churchill, Gandhi, the presidents of our own nation. I know that American history classes generally don't explore other nations beyond how they were used by ours, but seriously, so many great leaders of nations have been women and people, even today, act as though a woman as president of our country is and always has been unheard of. There are nations right now that have female rulers who do an excellent job. So why are we only ever teaching high school kids to acknowledge male rulers? I think this is just another of the numerous little things bogging progress down.
HC Secret Admirers
As I'm sure most of you have noticed, someone created a Facebook page titled HC Secret Admirers. This page is set-up so that students can anonymously post a message to someone they have a 'crush' on. It's a bit silly, but people seem to be enjoying it. There were a few things I noticed, though, that we bothersome. At the beginning, people were posting nice things to their crushes. The person running the blog commented on it saying the wished people would write more 'dirty' things to their crushes instead of 'sweet' things. Students were sure to respond to this with some pretty explicit details of things they wanted to do to their crushes.
I was reading through some more comments when I noticed someone responded to something a crush had posted on the wall. The person suggested his secret admirer come forward and ask him to get coffee since he was 'back on the market.' I didn't think much of it at first until I realized what 'on the market' insinuated. It's a phrase we have all probably heard or maybe even used to describe ourselves at one point or another. What does it mean, though? On the market? To be sold? As in I do not currently belong to someone right now, so anyone is free to buy me or control me or own me and until then I am just here, up for grabs. I'm sure we don't think about it in that way, but I can't help but wonder how the phrase was started and why we continue to use it.
I was reading through some more comments when I noticed someone responded to something a crush had posted on the wall. The person suggested his secret admirer come forward and ask him to get coffee since he was 'back on the market.' I didn't think much of it at first until I realized what 'on the market' insinuated. It's a phrase we have all probably heard or maybe even used to describe ourselves at one point or another. What does it mean, though? On the market? To be sold? As in I do not currently belong to someone right now, so anyone is free to buy me or control me or own me and until then I am just here, up for grabs. I'm sure we don't think about it in that way, but I can't help but wonder how the phrase was started and why we continue to use it.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
She
So I listen to a lot of different types of music, and I happened to come across the song "She" by Tyler, the Creator the other day. Here is a link to the video:
http://youtu.be/f84sUBXaqFo
I agree that the song is catchy (and I really like Frank Ocean, who is featured in it!), but once I looked up the lyrics, and read them it made me think differently about the song. Here are the lyrics:
"Golden rubbers in these denim pockets (denim pockets)
On my waist, there’s a black Glock (black Glock)
New girl moved on the block (on the block)
She been plottin’ on my brown cock (brown cock)
Last night I slept over hers (over hers)
During sex, I overheard (I overheard)
A sword sliced the air, I pulled out the na-na
Rolled off the bed then shot back, pa-pa
Blood on the sheets probably spillin’ from my gash
Looked out the glass, seen you sprintin’ on the grass
A real ninja with the blade and the mask
Got them gold ninja stars and red Supreme nunchuks
Now she tryna patch me up, but
Girl, I was just tryna get a nutbust
If that’s your ex, you should probably own a pistol
But I’m guessin’ it’s wiser to exit with dude
The blinds wide open so he can
See you in the dark when you’re sleepin’
Naked body, fresh out the shower
You touch yourself after hours
Ain’t no man allowed in your bedroom
You’re sleeping alone in your bed
But check your window, (swag) he’s at your window
The night light hits off, turnin’ kisses to bites
I’m a down to earth nigga with intentions that’s right
You’ll be down in earth quicker if you diss me tonight
But I’ll be the happiest if you decide to kick it tonight
We can chill and I can act like I don’t wanna fuck
You can tell me all your problems like I really give one
But I give two for us cause you’re the one that I want
Don’t wanna seem like a punk pussy that sips on the punk pussy
See when I’m with my friends I just put on a front
But in the back of my top I’m writing songs about we
We as including I and yourself, making three
Little ones drums beating pretty hard if you ask me
You’re a pretty broad in the top three
Of things that I’ve been waiting to come, so
Meet me by the lake around 10 and skinny dippin’ and then
We can begin the pretend game, I wanna be Finn from Adventure Time
One, two, you’re the girl that I want
Three, four, five, six, seven, shit
Eight is the bullets if you say no after all this
And I just couldn’t take it, you’re so motherfuckin’ gorgeous
Gorgeous, baby you’re gorgeous
I just wanna drag your lifeless body to the forest
And fornicate with it but that’s because I’m in love with
You… cunt
I just wanna talk, and conversate
Cause I usually just stalk you and masturbate
And I finally got the courage to ask you on a date
So just say yes, let the future fall into place
I just wanna talk, and conversate
Cause I usually just stalk you and masturbate
And I finally got the courage to ask you on a date
So just say yes, let the future fall into place… cunt"
As you can see, the song lyrics are quite lengthy, so I bolded a section that I want to focus on. The section that I bolded really bothered me because I have never, in any kind of music, heard/have seen lyrics talking about having sex with a dead woman's body before. It really disgusted me to read this, but it also made me think about MacKinnon's article that we read about sexuality--about how "death is the ultimate sexual act" because it the turning of a person into an object.
However, my main point is this: I have read about Tyler, the Creator (and Odd Future) and have watched him in interviews and he comes across as not taking himself too seriously. What I mean is--I do not think that he wants people to take his song lyrics seriously. I don't think that he actually wants to have sex with dead bodies. I think that he raps these things, I'm not sure why exactly, for money/attention/fame...who knows? But I know that he has come out and said that he is not trying to be offensive in any way.
My question is this: Is there a line that is being crossed here? Or in any situation similar to this? Is it OKAY to make jokes about things like this (rape, having sex with dead bodies, etc.) as long as you tag "don't take my joke seriously because I don't really mean it" at the end? Or are jokes like this inappropriate at all times?
http://youtu.be/f84sUBXaqFo
I agree that the song is catchy (and I really like Frank Ocean, who is featured in it!), but once I looked up the lyrics, and read them it made me think differently about the song. Here are the lyrics:
"Golden rubbers in these denim pockets (denim pockets)
On my waist, there’s a black Glock (black Glock)
New girl moved on the block (on the block)
She been plottin’ on my brown cock (brown cock)
Last night I slept over hers (over hers)
During sex, I overheard (I overheard)
A sword sliced the air, I pulled out the na-na
Rolled off the bed then shot back, pa-pa
Blood on the sheets probably spillin’ from my gash
Looked out the glass, seen you sprintin’ on the grass
A real ninja with the blade and the mask
Got them gold ninja stars and red Supreme nunchuks
Now she tryna patch me up, but
Girl, I was just tryna get a nutbust
If that’s your ex, you should probably own a pistol
But I’m guessin’ it’s wiser to exit with dude
The blinds wide open so he can
See you in the dark when you’re sleepin’
Naked body, fresh out the shower
You touch yourself after hours
Ain’t no man allowed in your bedroom
You’re sleeping alone in your bed
But check your window, (swag) he’s at your window
The night light hits off, turnin’ kisses to bites
I’m a down to earth nigga with intentions that’s right
You’ll be down in earth quicker if you diss me tonight
But I’ll be the happiest if you decide to kick it tonight
We can chill and I can act like I don’t wanna fuck
You can tell me all your problems like I really give one
But I give two for us cause you’re the one that I want
Don’t wanna seem like a punk pussy that sips on the punk pussy
See when I’m with my friends I just put on a front
But in the back of my top I’m writing songs about we
We as including I and yourself, making three
Little ones drums beating pretty hard if you ask me
You’re a pretty broad in the top three
Of things that I’ve been waiting to come, so
Meet me by the lake around 10 and skinny dippin’ and then
We can begin the pretend game, I wanna be Finn from Adventure Time
One, two, you’re the girl that I want
Three, four, five, six, seven, shit
Eight is the bullets if you say no after all this
And I just couldn’t take it, you’re so motherfuckin’ gorgeous
Gorgeous, baby you’re gorgeous
I just wanna drag your lifeless body to the forest
And fornicate with it but that’s because I’m in love with
You… cunt
I just wanna talk, and conversate
Cause I usually just stalk you and masturbate
And I finally got the courage to ask you on a date
So just say yes, let the future fall into place
I just wanna talk, and conversate
Cause I usually just stalk you and masturbate
And I finally got the courage to ask you on a date
So just say yes, let the future fall into place… cunt"
As you can see, the song lyrics are quite lengthy, so I bolded a section that I want to focus on. The section that I bolded really bothered me because I have never, in any kind of music, heard/have seen lyrics talking about having sex with a dead woman's body before. It really disgusted me to read this, but it also made me think about MacKinnon's article that we read about sexuality--about how "death is the ultimate sexual act" because it the turning of a person into an object.
However, my main point is this: I have read about Tyler, the Creator (and Odd Future) and have watched him in interviews and he comes across as not taking himself too seriously. What I mean is--I do not think that he wants people to take his song lyrics seriously. I don't think that he actually wants to have sex with dead bodies. I think that he raps these things, I'm not sure why exactly, for money/attention/fame...who knows? But I know that he has come out and said that he is not trying to be offensive in any way.
My question is this: Is there a line that is being crossed here? Or in any situation similar to this? Is it OKAY to make jokes about things like this (rape, having sex with dead bodies, etc.) as long as you tag "don't take my joke seriously because I don't really mean it" at the end? Or are jokes like this inappropriate at all times?
The Client List
I watch Army Wives every Sunday and after that show goes off, the show The Client List comes on. I haven't seen too many of the shows but I know the basics of what it's about. There's a place where women work giving massages to men in a sexual manner. They wear skimpy clothes and have low music playing while giving massages sexually. Just this past episode, I did watch the show because the previews made it sound interesting and the woman in charge decided she was going to look to hire men to give massages so there are women that come to receive them. Until this episode, I had never thought about how only women give the massages and men are receiving them, only. The show is mostly for a female audience and it made me wonder why it never had men on there in the first place.
Just wondering what your thoughts on this are..?
Just wondering what your thoughts on this are..?
Will Facebook Decide?
Okay, I'm not sure if everyone is aware about the bleeding red/equality sign trend that has recently taken over Facebook (atleast my news feed is full of it) in an attempt to raise awareness and support for Marriage Equality? Well, if you haven't... it's basically a virtual cyberspace 'movement' in which alot of people are changing their profile picture to a red equality sign and usually attaching some kind of supportive status about equal rights for all and such as that. First, I just want to mention how amazing it is to see such an amazing number of people out there who are supportive of same-sex marriage! (This gives me hope for humanity) On the other hand, amongst all my sea of scrolling I would come across one or two of my friends who had posted an opposition picture or status denouncing equal rights for LGBTQIA individuals. In regards to this, I thought the most interesting thing was the comments that were left on these peoples status'.
I read through one comment conversation last night that went through almost 40 comments back and forth, seemingly ending what I think had been a friendship. I also read where other people were deleting friends who did not share the same view as them, and one of the most interesting things I read was a comment made by a man who changed his picture to a crossed out equal sign... the two comment conversation went thusly:
Supporter: "So long....."
Opposition: "Girls don't count..."
I couldn't help but get fired up about this! He is opposed to marriage equality only if it is two men getting married?! Is this because women (of all race,class, and orientation) seen as lesser individuals in the first place? Does it have anything to do with the "romanticized" image of two lesbian women, that is somehow appealing to heterosexual men? Why do 'girls not count'? Is this trying to imply that lesbian and bisexual women can marry other women then, but men can't marry men because that will somehow make them less manly?
I'm a woman, damn it! And you better bet your ass that I count!
Sorry, for the rant and rage everyone...The opposing pictures don't upset me (I understand some people are opposed to homosexuality) and I respect the right to voice one's own opinion (obviously). I could go on ranting for days, but I will spare you the time... In short, what is everyone else take on this recent Facebook phenom?
I read through one comment conversation last night that went through almost 40 comments back and forth, seemingly ending what I think had been a friendship. I also read where other people were deleting friends who did not share the same view as them, and one of the most interesting things I read was a comment made by a man who changed his picture to a crossed out equal sign... the two comment conversation went thusly:
Supporter: "So long....."
Opposition: "Girls don't count..."
I couldn't help but get fired up about this! He is opposed to marriage equality only if it is two men getting married?! Is this because women (of all race,class, and orientation) seen as lesser individuals in the first place? Does it have anything to do with the "romanticized" image of two lesbian women, that is somehow appealing to heterosexual men? Why do 'girls not count'? Is this trying to imply that lesbian and bisexual women can marry other women then, but men can't marry men because that will somehow make them less manly?
I'm a woman, damn it! And you better bet your ass that I count!
Sorry, for the rant and rage everyone...The opposing pictures don't upset me (I understand some people are opposed to homosexuality) and I respect the right to voice one's own opinion (obviously). I could go on ranting for days, but I will spare you the time... In short, what is everyone else take on this recent Facebook phenom?
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Tumblr
I saw this quote on Tumblr the other day:
Tumblr has taught me more about feminism, women
rights, rape culture, slut shaming, etc, more than school ever had. And there
is something wrong with that.
I have to agree with this quote. I have learned more about feminism, women's rights, rape, etc from the internet (and this class!) than I ever have in school. I feel that there is something wrong with this picture. Why aren't--not just women--all people taught more about these issues? Why are they such taboo subjects in our society?
It makes me think of Compulsory Heterosexuality: if we keep women in the dark about what is really going on then we can keep them the way that we want them. Women aren't educated about these things just as much as they are "compelled" to be heterosexual. We need to be educational about rape, not shy away from the topic. Maybe if we talked more about this taboo topic, then it might happen less?
When Sleeping Women Wake.....
Sorry I'm going Blog happy today, but here's yet another picture I came across:

I think this proverb says a lot. I think it's referring to the rose-colored glasses that women often wear. We sit back and we think that everything is fine and we go about our daily business doing as we're told and dressing and acting the way we are supposed to dress and act, but when something changes and those glasses are suddenly removed, women have the capacity to do extraordinary things. Thoughts?

I think this proverb says a lot. I think it's referring to the rose-colored glasses that women often wear. We sit back and we think that everything is fine and we go about our daily business doing as we're told and dressing and acting the way we are supposed to dress and act, but when something changes and those glasses are suddenly removed, women have the capacity to do extraordinary things. Thoughts?
Equity to Equality
I came across the following picture today:

When I first saw this, I was initially surprised and a little glad that such a picture existed; I mean, such a picture makes the rise from equity to equality look so easy. However, as I began to look at it more closely, I was slightly discouraged because I would (personally) place our progress somewhere in between Step 3 and Step 4: I think our society has definitely began facilitating access to the social, legal and political frameworks, however, I'm not sure if they yet fully encourage it. What do you think? What step do you think we are on in the U.S.?

When I first saw this, I was initially surprised and a little glad that such a picture existed; I mean, such a picture makes the rise from equity to equality look so easy. However, as I began to look at it more closely, I was slightly discouraged because I would (personally) place our progress somewhere in between Step 3 and Step 4: I think our society has definitely began facilitating access to the social, legal and political frameworks, however, I'm not sure if they yet fully encourage it. What do you think? What step do you think we are on in the U.S.?
Violence Against Women = Ratings!
OK, so as some of you may know, the new series Bates Motel (a spin-off of Psycho) premiered last week. My boyfriend and I sat down to watch the first episode when it premiered and although I found the characters and the developing plot line to be interesting, I was absolutely shocked and frankly, a little appalled by just how much violence against women was present in just the pilot episode! Just in the 45 minute time span, the mother was (rather graphically and violently) raped and a story line had begun to develop that involved multiple girls being held hostage, raped, and tortured. After the episode ended, my boyfriend turned to me and asked me what I thought, so I told him. He understood what I was saying and didn't disagree with it, but then he asked me, "so what do you think of me knowing that I really liked it (the episode)?" I thought this was a fair question and told him that I didn't think any less of him and that I would almost expect him to not be bothered by the type of violence that was present in the episode because, after all, it's much more of a female problem/concern that it is a male one.
As I thought more about the episode, I also began to wonder what it meant that the director/screen writer not only incorporated this sort of violence into the series, but that they thought that people would like a series that incorporated such things. So I pose the same question to the rest of you: what do you think it says about us and our society that such violence against women is not only accepted, but utilized as a source of entertainment?
As I thought more about the episode, I also began to wonder what it meant that the director/screen writer not only incorporated this sort of violence into the series, but that they thought that people would like a series that incorporated such things. So I pose the same question to the rest of you: what do you think it says about us and our society that such violence against women is not only accepted, but utilized as a source of entertainment?
Monday, March 25, 2013
Car Commercial
http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7ITx/hyundai-elantra-whats-your-type
I usually try and mute commercials when I watch TV because they tend to infuriate me, but last night while watching The Walking Dead with my roommates I didn't bother muting. Hyundai sponsors The Walking Dead, and therefore their cars are featured in all of the shows. There are also Hyundai commercials inbetween each section of the show.
I was blown away by this commercial! How ridiculous! I do not understand the fascination with commercials advertising objects through the use of women or feminine characteristics. I believe I posted before about a commercial selling a specific brand of cable in which the commercial called the TV female. This, however, is by far the worst car commercial I have seen exposing and objectifying women. I have to wonder if most people who actually watch commercials would even notice what the point of this commercial is, are offended by it or are entertained by it.
I usually try and mute commercials when I watch TV because they tend to infuriate me, but last night while watching The Walking Dead with my roommates I didn't bother muting. Hyundai sponsors The Walking Dead, and therefore their cars are featured in all of the shows. There are also Hyundai commercials inbetween each section of the show.
I was blown away by this commercial! How ridiculous! I do not understand the fascination with commercials advertising objects through the use of women or feminine characteristics. I believe I posted before about a commercial selling a specific brand of cable in which the commercial called the TV female. This, however, is by far the worst car commercial I have seen exposing and objectifying women. I have to wonder if most people who actually watch commercials would even notice what the point of this commercial is, are offended by it or are entertained by it.
Periods
I was talking with my friends the other day about periods and how people have such a negative outlook on them. One of my friends was talking about how they felt really gross when they were on their period and how even when they shower, they feel completely dirty. I told them about what we talked about in class about periods and how we said it is seen negatively when it shouldn't be. One of them asked why it should be seen as a good thing and another one said it's because it shows we are women. I told them that was exactly right but they still thought it was really disgusting and said they would never see it as a good thing.
Even after explaining to them it isn't all that bad, they wouldn't change their mind and I just couldn't understand why. I mean, I don't see it as a great thing, but I'm not repulsed by getting my period. I don't understand why we have grown up thinking that periods are a really disgusting thing, when it is a natural part of life that can't be avoided.
Even after explaining to them it isn't all that bad, they wouldn't change their mind and I just couldn't understand why. I mean, I don't see it as a great thing, but I'm not repulsed by getting my period. I don't understand why we have grown up thinking that periods are a really disgusting thing, when it is a natural part of life that can't be avoided.
http://accidentaldevotional.com/2013/03/19/the-day-i-taught-how-not-to-rape/
so this is pretty long, but it's worth it if you ask me. It seems obvious, but it's something we need to actively discuss with kids. I like that they decided as a group to change their point of view from "Not a no" to "enthusiastic yes". It's very important for everyone, not just women, not just men, to have a clear view of the meaning of consent.
What do you guys think?
so this is pretty long, but it's worth it if you ask me. It seems obvious, but it's something we need to actively discuss with kids. I like that they decided as a group to change their point of view from "Not a no" to "enthusiastic yes". It's very important for everyone, not just women, not just men, to have a clear view of the meaning of consent.
What do you guys think?
The Bride
I was on Tumblr yesterday and I came across this picture of this poem. While I think it IS somewhat sweet, I think that there is a deeper message that is being stated here. I feel that the poem is implying that we, as women, must wait for someone to come and love us like no other. We are just going to be automatically swept off of our feet, and HE [the poem implies a "he" because when we think of marriage in our culture we think of a man & a woman (which opens up a whole other can of worms that I won't go into)] will come and save us and love us and make us happy forever. This poem also implies, in my own opinion, that women only feel beautiful, loved, and happy when they have a man that wants to be with them.
My question is: Why can't I be beautiful WITHOUT being a bride? Why can't I be happy WITHOUT having a man? Why can't I love myself WITHOUT someone else? Isn't the love that I have for myself enough? Shouldn't we be teaching women that they need to love THEMSELVES before loving someone else? Women should be taught that they can fully love themselves, and that their love for their-self is enough. You, as a person--as a human being--do NOT need someone else to love you, make you validated, or to make you feel like a full person. I believe that men are taught this, while women are taught to be co-depedant--that we need a man in order to be truly fulfilled. This is not the case, and women do not need men to feel beautiful. They simply need to love themselves.
My question is: Why can't I be beautiful WITHOUT being a bride? Why can't I be happy WITHOUT having a man? Why can't I love myself WITHOUT someone else? Isn't the love that I have for myself enough? Shouldn't we be teaching women that they need to love THEMSELVES before loving someone else? Women should be taught that they can fully love themselves, and that their love for their-self is enough. You, as a person--as a human being--do NOT need someone else to love you, make you validated, or to make you feel like a full person. I believe that men are taught this, while women are taught to be co-depedant--that we need a man in order to be truly fulfilled. This is not the case, and women do not need men to feel beautiful. They simply need to love themselves.
What Would Women Do?
Last night, I was hanging out with a group of my friends and one of them was writing a psychology paper about female power in the bedroom. She was frustrated because it had to be 5 pages long and she only had 3... Her dilemma was that she couldn't think of ways women express their sexuality. Of course I showed up right when she was erring her grievances, and another one of my friends chimed in with, "oh, you should ask her, she's really into this kind of thing," so when she asked me I posed the question to the entire room. Here were some of their responses in regards to female sexuality: "Dancing, clothes, lingerie, body language, music, porn". The thoughts trailed off after this, and so I asked how they thought they expressed their own sexuality. I mostly received the same responses as the previous ones, and some of my friends didn't answer at all.Then they turned the table back on me... I said, "I'm still trying to figure that out..." They all got a pretty good laugh about that because they assumed I was making a gay joke, but when I told them that it was because I've realized sexuality in most cases has been structured around the idea of women being subjected to men and what men desire, they stopped laughing.
It was actually a pretty amazing thing to witness, watching the wheels in their brains turning as they were trying to contemplate what I had just said. I don't think many of them had ever thought about it in that way. The conversation ended with my friend gesturing the computer toward me, and saying, "you want to write the rest?"
This got me thinking more about the ways women would express their sexuality though if pressure from society wasn't constantly influencing us to behave or act a certain way. Would more women be apt to grow their leg/armpit hairs out? Perhaps. Maybe bras wouldn't even exist! Maybe the biggest form of socialization wouldn't involve "the bar scene/the party/the dance floor". Maybe everywhere would be a place for self-expression, and it wouldn't be about how our bodies looked in relation to someone else or for someone else.
How do you all think we express our sexuality, or would express/should express it?
It was actually a pretty amazing thing to witness, watching the wheels in their brains turning as they were trying to contemplate what I had just said. I don't think many of them had ever thought about it in that way. The conversation ended with my friend gesturing the computer toward me, and saying, "you want to write the rest?"
This got me thinking more about the ways women would express their sexuality though if pressure from society wasn't constantly influencing us to behave or act a certain way. Would more women be apt to grow their leg/armpit hairs out? Perhaps. Maybe bras wouldn't even exist! Maybe the biggest form of socialization wouldn't involve "the bar scene/the party/the dance floor". Maybe everywhere would be a place for self-expression, and it wouldn't be about how our bodies looked in relation to someone else or for someone else.
How do you all think we express our sexuality, or would express/should express it?
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Planning a trip
I just got approved to study abroad in Paris over spring break and had an interesting conversation regarding women traveling in Paris. A friend told me the good thing about Paris is that it has low statistics for female rape, a fact that I was unaware of. It got me thinking how sick it is that we have to even think, or have these statistics because of how prevalent rape is in all cultures. We never think of these statistics in male terms either. It's always the question of if a place is safe for women traveling alone, but as we know, women are not the only victims. While this statistic should give me comfort, I was more pissed off that when traveling to a city, I have to have these ideas floating in my head, and I have to be on my guard because poor, defenseless, women are traveling by themselves and are easy targets. That last sentence had poor structure and I'm rambling now so I will end by saying that it sucks we have to think in these terms.
Female Refs
This subject of women in sports has come up many times but an aspect that I think is neglected in this subject is the lack of female referees. I've been watching a lot of March Madness lately and this had me noticing the complete lack of female officials (not only in college basketball but all male sports, both collegiately and professionally). Women referees seem to only be officials for female sports, with the exception of soccer (the only sport where I have seen a woman ref a match played by men). This goes back to the notion that women "can't do" sports or are in some way inferior to men when it comes to sports. I just found it interesting that when watching male sports, nearly all the positions are filled by men.
An Apology?
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/ford-apologizes-ads-showing-bound-gagged-women-1B9046338
After reading this article I was happy to see that there was such an outrage to Ford's new advertisements in India. I could not believe that photos of bound and gagged women made it onto the design table for advertisement in the first place. The article implies that the thought was "Sex Sells" to consumers, which is another scary thought in itself. These women were not only bound, but also dressed in little clothing.
Last week India approved a new anti rape law which I was very happy to see, but then Ford comes out with their advertisements. The writer of the article questions whether Ford will sell more with the advertisement, and I truly hope they don't.
I also question the motives of Ford, did they really not realize the impact of their advertisements would have? Or were they looking to gain more media attention from such a terrible advertisement which could increase sales?
I feel that I see more offensive pictures of women every day, and in magazines which I would not have expected. However I do think that more women are being socially educated on the need to change the male gaze. The hope is there to change, but we need to let more people see what we have learned in class.
After reading this article I was happy to see that there was such an outrage to Ford's new advertisements in India. I could not believe that photos of bound and gagged women made it onto the design table for advertisement in the first place. The article implies that the thought was "Sex Sells" to consumers, which is another scary thought in itself. These women were not only bound, but also dressed in little clothing.
Last week India approved a new anti rape law which I was very happy to see, but then Ford comes out with their advertisements. The writer of the article questions whether Ford will sell more with the advertisement, and I truly hope they don't.
I also question the motives of Ford, did they really not realize the impact of their advertisements would have? Or were they looking to gain more media attention from such a terrible advertisement which could increase sales?
I feel that I see more offensive pictures of women every day, and in magazines which I would not have expected. However I do think that more women are being socially educated on the need to change the male gaze. The hope is there to change, but we need to let more people see what we have learned in class.
Angry Words
The conversation starts like this "Well if she was drunk, she deserves it..." and then I just want to pull out my own hair and yell. But I don't. However every time I hear this phrase I can't help but feel confusion as well as anger to why someone else would say this about another fellow human being.
I continue to think about this, and I believe the male gaze is present even in this statement. Several women are controlling the actions of other women with public humiliation and abandonment. The women who were left behind are always left with this bad reputation, and feel even worse. This statement keeps many other women in line too in order for them to stay present in the social situations.
Also while this statement is said, usually the actions of the equally drunk male are never brought up. Instead it was "her fault" only. This mindset also scares me, because there are so many people who think this. I remember freshman year when all of the freshman had to attend an alcohol workshop with open discussion, and I could not believe the things I heard people say about the woman. This presentation was really cool because both actors were able to reverse roles in alcohol situations. At first the scene started with a young freshman woman who had too much to drink and went into a room with an upper class man. In the next scene instead there was a young freshman male with an upper class female. There were many sympathetic comments for the young freshman male, but the young freshman female was called to quote one person "stupid for getting herself into the situation". I remember feeling worried about this group who I would attend college with.
However, to quote Dumbledore "There is always light even in the darkest of times, one must simply remember to turn on the light." There were equally many speakers who stood up for the freshman woman, which calmed my spirit. So I wonder how can we change this aspect of the male gaze? I believe it can be done, but I wish I knew where to start.
The Idea of Love
Frasier is one of my favorite television sitcoms because I enjoy laughing at the awkward and relatable situations they find themselves in. I also like that once in a while an episode has a small but powerful message to take away.
This clip is from one of my favorite episodes called "Daphne Returns", and it really challenges my perspective on love. Our society idolizes the knight in shining armor who wins his lady's heart. I am equally guilty of always being inspired by this idea. I found courage in the hopeless romantic who after a period of time expresses their true feelings to their desired love.
In the series one of the main characters called Niles has a crush on his brother's home care worker named Daphne, and does not express his feelings for seven years. After many trials, Daphne and Niles are finally together.
In this clip, Frasier (Niles's brother) analyzes his brother's relationship with Daphne, and he comes to the conclusion that both Daphne and Niles are terrified of revealing who they both truly are. And Niles realizes that his love for Daphne has only been from a distance, and he truly does not know her. But now he has the chance to experience Daphne in a real relationship, and he needs to take this chance.
I think this sends a great message about love; in order to truly love someone you need to get to know them, and see them both at their worst and best. In the long run, if after infatuation you find that you do not share anything in common, you move forward and hope for the best.
Like Mother like Daughter
I found this picture by a makeup artist I follow on Instagram. While I love makeup, I did find this picture very disturbing. This is a perfect example of early gender socialization; we socialize and mold our children to appear as the perfect little boy or girl.
As I mentioned, this was posted by a makeup artist, and I find her work as a make up artist absolutely breathtaking. This is her profession and obvious medium of creativity and while her comment might insinuate her wanting to share this important part of her life with her daughter; however, I can't help but view this as a lesson how how to be a lady. Children live what they learn and if we are teaching little girls from a young age that they should wear lipstick or mascara, think of all the subtle (or not-so-subtle) messages we give little girls about being women and what they're suppose to look like. I recognize that I am no one to critique what experiences a woman wants to share with her (future) daughter, but I do believe that it is important for children at an early age to experience and understand the power of being able to choose for yourself -whether its picking your clothes everyday to what sports you want to practice. I think most people forget the fact that children are often times not allowed or granted the opportunity to be self-defining and choose their own medium of expression. What do you all think of this picture?
As I mentioned, this was posted by a makeup artist, and I find her work as a make up artist absolutely breathtaking. This is her profession and obvious medium of creativity and while her comment might insinuate her wanting to share this important part of her life with her daughter; however, I can't help but view this as a lesson how how to be a lady. Children live what they learn and if we are teaching little girls from a young age that they should wear lipstick or mascara, think of all the subtle (or not-so-subtle) messages we give little girls about being women and what they're suppose to look like. I recognize that I am no one to critique what experiences a woman wants to share with her (future) daughter, but I do believe that it is important for children at an early age to experience and understand the power of being able to choose for yourself -whether its picking your clothes everyday to what sports you want to practice. I think most people forget the fact that children are often times not allowed or granted the opportunity to be self-defining and choose their own medium of expression. What do you all think of this picture?
Bars
This weekend was my first experience at a Bar. I went to Purdue to visit with some friends, and we went to a few popular bars for the first time together. Only somewhat surprising to myself, I didn't enjoy the experience. The way in which the bars are set up to function only allows one type of interaction -- looking and then deciding to approach or not.
While I was there with two other girlfriends just trying to talk and enjoy the experience, we all had to avoid eye contact with people left and right. The second you looked around the bar for too long and happened to make eye contact with a boy he would start moving toward you until you diverted your eyes.
It was one of my first direct experiences with the male gaze, male superiority, the idea that women are asking for something and men have the choice to react or not. It was a bit disheartening but eye-opening at the same time.
While I was there with two other girlfriends just trying to talk and enjoy the experience, we all had to avoid eye contact with people left and right. The second you looked around the bar for too long and happened to make eye contact with a boy he would start moving toward you until you diverted your eyes.
It was one of my first direct experiences with the male gaze, male superiority, the idea that women are asking for something and men have the choice to react or not. It was a bit disheartening but eye-opening at the same time.

“A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
― Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Women's Sports
Today I was looking at one of my teammates magazines in his room and a majority of them were Sports Illustrated magazines. I noticed a majority of them had pictures of half naked girls on the cover. This made a connection for me on why women are so disrespected in sports. Looking through five Sports Illustrated magazines only four pictures throughout all five magazines showed women in an actual sports setting. All other pictures featured women in swim suits or cheering on male sports. As an athlete I find this very degrading to women. No wonder we are expected to wear skimpy outfits and still look sexy when we are playing a sport. In my opinion I feel that women should be in sports magazines as more than a cheerleader. Maybe if things like this could be changed women's sports would be taken a little more seriously than they are now. Do you all think things like these Sports Illustrated issues are partially the reason for women's sports not being taken seriously?
Yay! My Period is Here!
I think it was a week ago in class we were talking about periods and how there is such a negative look that is put on them. I was having this same conversation with some of my sisters about it and we were joking about how it is one of the worst things that can ever happen. Like why can't mother nature just send you a text that says "HEY! You are not pregnant!" But being who I am, I love to sit on you tube and look up videos about different stuff, sooooooooo I looked up a video on periods and came across this beauty.
In my opinion she has captured everything that there is to say about periods and what it is like to go through. It attempts to explain how periods are not something to be afraid of and that women almost feel as uncomfortable as girls do. It is hard to say that they are enjoyable because I don't think there is one girl that believes that is true, but it tries to get away from the negativity that is put on period and tries to show a lighter side.
Somebodies
I saw this quote on Tumblr today and I thought it was really great:
“We gotta start teaching our daughters to be somebodies instead of somebody’s.”
This made me think of de Beauvoir's writing that we read. Women in our society are encouraged to be somebody's, meaning that we are encouraged to be a girlfriend, a wife, etc., basically "the Other" rather than "the One." We even get rewarded for doing so. I notice all of the time that girls who have boyfriends are envied, and from experience I can say that being somebody's girlfriend has a lot of advantages. You always have someone to hang out with, so you are never lonely. You always have a date for parties, etc. It really makes you feel and appear to be desired in our society if you are a women who is with a man. It is like silently saying "I am attractive enough and likable enough for a man to devote his time to me." To me, this screams "I have submitted to the male gaze enough to get a man, and you have no man because you obviously have not submitted enough." I do not entirely believe that to be the case, but I do feel that is how society views it.
I agree de Beauvoir, that being an "Other" has A LOT of advantages to it, and I feel that society teaches women how to be good "Others," if they follow the "rules" and submit to the male gaze. However nice these advantages may be, this is not teaching women how to be successful on their own, but rather teaching them that they need a man, someone to be dependent on, in order to succeed because they cannot do it on their own.
Thus, I have to agree that we need to start teaching women to be somebodies instead of somebody's. We are going to have to give up some advantages that we receive for being an "Other" but I think, in the long run, more successful, independent women would be a better thing for our society.
“We gotta start teaching our daughters to be somebodies instead of somebody’s.”
This made me think of de Beauvoir's writing that we read. Women in our society are encouraged to be somebody's, meaning that we are encouraged to be a girlfriend, a wife, etc., basically "the Other" rather than "the One." We even get rewarded for doing so. I notice all of the time that girls who have boyfriends are envied, and from experience I can say that being somebody's girlfriend has a lot of advantages. You always have someone to hang out with, so you are never lonely. You always have a date for parties, etc. It really makes you feel and appear to be desired in our society if you are a women who is with a man. It is like silently saying "I am attractive enough and likable enough for a man to devote his time to me." To me, this screams "I have submitted to the male gaze enough to get a man, and you have no man because you obviously have not submitted enough." I do not entirely believe that to be the case, but I do feel that is how society views it.
I agree de Beauvoir, that being an "Other" has A LOT of advantages to it, and I feel that society teaches women how to be good "Others," if they follow the "rules" and submit to the male gaze. However nice these advantages may be, this is not teaching women how to be successful on their own, but rather teaching them that they need a man, someone to be dependent on, in order to succeed because they cannot do it on their own.
Thus, I have to agree that we need to start teaching women to be somebodies instead of somebody's. We are going to have to give up some advantages that we receive for being an "Other" but I think, in the long run, more successful, independent women would be a better thing for our society.
Hunks4Hope
http://womensenews.org/story/domestic-violence/130318/video-sexy-guys-do-pin-ups-womens-safety
This organization is using male sex symbols posing in provocative ways for a calendar to raise money for domestic violence awareness and domestic violence surviors. I think it is very uplifting that men are taking a stand to for women and helping raise awareness of domestic vioence. On one hand however, I was very taken back by the fact they are using them as sex symbols in provocative manners to raise this awareness. It just seems very ironic. But as the founder of the Hunks4Hope says in the interview, they are doing this because sex sells. On the other hand though I think it is good that these men are standing up and putting themselves into the role of women and in a way objectifying themselves. Its nice to see the tables turned to men for a change. Instead of seeing women as a sex object. In all I thought this was an interesting way of raising awareness and money for domestic violence of women.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Criminals
After reading over my notes from the past few classes, I started to wonder about something that Rousseau said. He believed that women could never be as moral as men, and that they should be trained to be. While I feel that hardly anyone would actually agree with him, it got me thinking about criminals. The majority of the criminals in prison today are males. If males are supposed to be "more moral" than females, then why are there more male criminals than female criminals?
JS Mill said that men deal more with the abstract than the emotional, and women vice-versa. So then, why do more men commit crimes in this country than women? I believe that it is because women DO deal more with emotions, and thus can look at the emotional consequences of their actions before they do something. But that would also be implying that men cannot do that, which I do not believe to be true. It is very puzzling to me. Maybe women are more concerned/busy with the private sphere (family, kids, friends, homes, etc) to even think about committing a crime?
I am not sure. All I know is that if Rousseau were right then more women than men would be in jail. Obviously this is not the case, and in fact is the opposite...so are women more moral than men? Or do men just act more on criminal impulse, etc than women?
JS Mill said that men deal more with the abstract than the emotional, and women vice-versa. So then, why do more men commit crimes in this country than women? I believe that it is because women DO deal more with emotions, and thus can look at the emotional consequences of their actions before they do something. But that would also be implying that men cannot do that, which I do not believe to be true. It is very puzzling to me. Maybe women are more concerned/busy with the private sphere (family, kids, friends, homes, etc) to even think about committing a crime?
I am not sure. All I know is that if Rousseau were right then more women than men would be in jail. Obviously this is not the case, and in fact is the opposite...so are women more moral than men? Or do men just act more on criminal impulse, etc than women?
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Body of Image-n-ation
One of the most talked about themes of our blogs I believe to be is - image... self-image, media images, stereotypical images, etc etc... No doubt this topic is a major part of our lives, we literally see some type of image that portrays a cultural ideal/norm every day. How much influence do they have on our lives, I would argue that they have tremendous influence, but they lack substance. We are the ones responsible for fueling or filling them with substance, with meaning, ultimately with power. We allow these images to conflate or rather, deflate, our understanding of self, and consequently these images prevail. How can we take the power out of the traditional picture/image of woman? By giving power to a different image-
Flip-flip-flip-
Magazine cover to centerfold- Rip!
36-24-36
Measurements of perfection...
Idealized image...
Stored in brains of teenage angst,
How-to-Diets mixed with new fashion fads,
Bangs above the brow,
Boho braids in the Fall
Flip-flip-flip-
From page to page
Read how societies coming of age,
Less is more-
Skin bares all-
Which new trend will make you look small?
These jeans over those
Sexy vs. Skanky-
Learn what your style really shows about your personality.
Flip-flip-flip-
To get a grip, on how or who you should be.
Read between the lines to see
That the image is just fantasy.
Flip-flip-flip-
Don't read, just rip-
Away from the facade, get a grip and see
That what society portrays
Isn't real, Isn't me.
Flip-flip-flip-
Magazine cover to centerfold- Rip!
36-24-36
Measurements of perfection...
Idealized image...
Stored in brains of teenage angst,
How-to-Diets mixed with new fashion fads,
Bangs above the brow,
Boho braids in the Fall
Flip-flip-flip-
From page to page
Read how societies coming of age,
Less is more-
Skin bares all-
Which new trend will make you look small?
These jeans over those
Sexy vs. Skanky-
Learn what your style really shows about your personality.
Flip-flip-flip-
To get a grip, on how or who you should be.
Read between the lines to see
That the image is just fantasy.
Flip-flip-flip-
Don't read, just rip-
Away from the facade, get a grip and see
That what society portrays
Isn't real, Isn't me.
Male Gaze Comment (Ticked!)
I'm sure most of you have seen the posters around campus such as the "I'm more than a Facebook Page" and other posters that have photos of students and tell a little bit about them. There is a poster kind of like this hanging in my dorm hall that is supposed to be an athletic motivational poster. It has a picture of a female athlete from a D1 school posing with a basketball. I overheard a boy in the hallway today comment on her body. He asked him girlfriend "Is the girl in this poster pregnant? Because she looks." Almost as startled as I was his girlfriend replied "What's wrong with you? You can't say things like that!" I was appalled when the only thing he said back was "Well, it's rude of her to look pregnant in today's society."
This whole conversation made me so angry that I didn't know what to do! So I thought I would blog about it!
Hearing things like this actually come from peoples mouths about women's bodies is so upsetting! It just shows how much the male gaze is verbally communicated that goes unnoticed in our everyday lives. And the fact that she simply laughed his comment off made me more upset about the entire situation. It really just showed me that because males are known as the 'superior sex' that some of them think they can say anything and comment on women and their bodies as they please. Unfortunately!
This whole conversation made me so angry that I didn't know what to do! So I thought I would blog about it!
Hearing things like this actually come from peoples mouths about women's bodies is so upsetting! It just shows how much the male gaze is verbally communicated that goes unnoticed in our everyday lives. And the fact that she simply laughed his comment off made me more upset about the entire situation. It really just showed me that because males are known as the 'superior sex' that some of them think they can say anything and comment on women and their bodies as they please. Unfortunately!
Abu Ghraib?
Here is an article that I found online today about the Steubenville rape case:
http://www.newstatesman.com/laurie-penny/2013/03/steubenville-rape-cultures-abu-ghraib-moment
I liked it a lot because I thought it brought up a good point: Do we really live in a society where rape is celebrated and paraded all around the internet? Yes, yes we do. But WHY is that? It is very puzzling to me. The article compares what happened in Steubenville to Abu Ghraib (where American soldiers took pictures of themselves torturing political prisoners while they [the Americans] were smiling and laughing, standing on the prisoners, etc). I think that would be an okay comparison.
The article asks what kind of society teaches people that it is okay to rape someone and them post pictures online. Here is the article's answer:
"Only one in which women's autonomy and right to safety counts for so little that these rapists, and those who held the cameras, felt themselves 'perfectly justified'. Only one in which rape and sexual humiliation of women and girls is so normalized that it does not register as a crime in the minds of the assailants. Only one in which victims are powerless, silenced, dismissed. "
I suppose that I would have to agree, and I see this played out in society. I saw a picture on Facebook the other day that said: We live in a culture that teaches women how not to get raped, when instead it should teach men not to rape." I think that is true. How many times in your life have you been told to "be on your guard" in a dark place, a parking garage, etc. How many Self-Defense for Women classes are taught all around the USA? I believe that if we changed how we approach rape as a society/culture (that it is awful, shouldn't/won't be tolerated, etc) then we can eliminate the need to teach women "how not to get raped." I believe that we would have to completely change how we look at women/femininity. We would have to stop devaluing women and the private sphere that women are so often a part of.
http://www.newstatesman.com/laurie-penny/2013/03/steubenville-rape-cultures-abu-ghraib-moment
I liked it a lot because I thought it brought up a good point: Do we really live in a society where rape is celebrated and paraded all around the internet? Yes, yes we do. But WHY is that? It is very puzzling to me. The article compares what happened in Steubenville to Abu Ghraib (where American soldiers took pictures of themselves torturing political prisoners while they [the Americans] were smiling and laughing, standing on the prisoners, etc). I think that would be an okay comparison.
The article asks what kind of society teaches people that it is okay to rape someone and them post pictures online. Here is the article's answer:
"Only one in which women's autonomy and right to safety counts for so little that these rapists, and those who held the cameras, felt themselves 'perfectly justified'. Only one in which rape and sexual humiliation of women and girls is so normalized that it does not register as a crime in the minds of the assailants. Only one in which victims are powerless, silenced, dismissed. "
I suppose that I would have to agree, and I see this played out in society. I saw a picture on Facebook the other day that said: We live in a culture that teaches women how not to get raped, when instead it should teach men not to rape." I think that is true. How many times in your life have you been told to "be on your guard" in a dark place, a parking garage, etc. How many Self-Defense for Women classes are taught all around the USA? I believe that if we changed how we approach rape as a society/culture (that it is awful, shouldn't/won't be tolerated, etc) then we can eliminate the need to teach women "how not to get raped." I believe that we would have to completely change how we look at women/femininity. We would have to stop devaluing women and the private sphere that women are so often a part of.
Beauty and Practicality
I love long nails; there is nothing more elegant than the appearance of long thin fingers/hands by having nice kept finger nails. A very silly -yet very much unfortunate- thing occurred to me last week: I broke one of my nails. And it wasn't that I chipped. My nail broke so far down into my nail bed that it continously bled for much longer than I had anticipated. So how did this all happen? By adjusting the level of the computer chair.
Monday, March 18, 2013
News Image
Here is the image I saw about the different news stations' reactions to the two boys who were tried yesterday. Although this image has a clear objective and probably doesn't display all the quotes and opinions, it is interesting to see that these quotes and these opinions are shared amongst a wide variety of individuals.
Compliments
After class, I came back to the dorm and was talking to my friends about the discussion we had today on compliments and receiving them. I asked if they liked getting compliments and what it means to them when they do receive them. They all agreed with what I thought before we discussed it in class today. My thought was that compliments are good and I just go on thinking it was nice of them to notice and mention it. After class, I realized that we are being judged when we receive compliments.
After telling my friends this they all agreed with me and said they never noticed it like that. My friends just thought it was nice of someone to compliment them and now they see that men are actually judging us. We all agree it's nice to know that someone notices us and that we tried to look good that day. But like we said in class, it makes us wonder if we look ugly every other day.
Also, we talked about how the compliment is stated and what is being complimented. Some guys are like, "Wow, you look hot" and that isn't appreciated by anyone. When we talked about that I said that it was almost like an insult but if a guy says "You look cute" or "You look pretty," then it's taken completely different. Or if it's a comment about your ass or something, it's just like wow, you're a jerk, shut up and leave me alone.
Does anyone else feel like what is being complimented and how it is being stated affects the thought of the compliment?
After telling my friends this they all agreed with me and said they never noticed it like that. My friends just thought it was nice of someone to compliment them and now they see that men are actually judging us. We all agree it's nice to know that someone notices us and that we tried to look good that day. But like we said in class, it makes us wonder if we look ugly every other day.
Also, we talked about how the compliment is stated and what is being complimented. Some guys are like, "Wow, you look hot" and that isn't appreciated by anyone. When we talked about that I said that it was almost like an insult but if a guy says "You look cute" or "You look pretty," then it's taken completely different. Or if it's a comment about your ass or something, it's just like wow, you're a jerk, shut up and leave me alone.
Does anyone else feel like what is being complimented and how it is being stated affects the thought of the compliment?
Sunday, March 17, 2013
The Vagina Monologue Message
I have been involved with the Vagina Monologues every year since I have been at Hanover College. This year, I was very lucky to have the opportunity to co-direct with Careen Turner. However, I would like you all to know that a lot of the credit should be given to Careen, she made the Vagina Monologues memorable, and really sent a powerful message to our audience.
We had a different ending to years past, which included two monologues and a powerful video. Latelty I have been reflecting on the monologue called "Spotlight Narration: Over It". Annabelle gave a powerful performance to the audience, and reminded the audience about things we have forgotten.
She talks about how passive people are when thinking about rape, and I remember how many times in high school I heard people laugh about rape. At the time it was sickening and borderline scary. Although we can look at high school students, and think they are just growing up, remember how much generations change, and now junior high students have access to the same concepts as high school students. How much further will this concept reach back, to elementary schools? We can hope not, but in many homes the concept is already known.
The most thought provoking thought was when she addressed the men in the audience with that line calling "Where the hell are you?". I feel this is another aspect we need to keep in mind when thinking about changing the world. Why are there so many good men who just stand by? We need a society where men and women stand up together, and protect one another. It's hard to image a changed world from the one we live in, but anything is possible. I hope as we continue to learn, what possible ways we could go about changing the male gaze.
We had a different ending to years past, which included two monologues and a powerful video. Latelty I have been reflecting on the monologue called "Spotlight Narration: Over It". Annabelle gave a powerful performance to the audience, and reminded the audience about things we have forgotten.
She talks about how passive people are when thinking about rape, and I remember how many times in high school I heard people laugh about rape. At the time it was sickening and borderline scary. Although we can look at high school students, and think they are just growing up, remember how much generations change, and now junior high students have access to the same concepts as high school students. How much further will this concept reach back, to elementary schools? We can hope not, but in many homes the concept is already known.
The most thought provoking thought was when she addressed the men in the audience with that line calling "Where the hell are you?". I feel this is another aspect we need to keep in mind when thinking about changing the world. Why are there so many good men who just stand by? We need a society where men and women stand up together, and protect one another. It's hard to image a changed world from the one we live in, but anything is possible. I hope as we continue to learn, what possible ways we could go about changing the male gaze.
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