I looked online and saw my compliment.
I was too happy for words, I could not believe what I read.
I was seen more than just a kind heart; I was seen as sexual.
I happily asked my close friends "Who wrote this?"
I thought it was a silly poem to make me laugh.
But all of them had no genuine clue who said these words.
And now I truly hope for the author to be my friend.
And I genuinely am ashamed of how caught up I became.
If this was not my friend, then who?
I realized tonight that I applauded for the male gaze.
With my arms open I welcomed him into my life.
I even included a shaky facebook thank you.
If this was not my friend, then who?
For if this was a stranger, then they see me as an object.
Nice. Sweet. And Sexual.
I am horrified about my reaction.
The deception in front of my face.
And I blindly followed with only gratitude.
So where do I run from here?
Are compliments the only thing I treasure?
And how did I miss something so close?
I try to let go, and I try to be different.
It's sort of sad that I can find myself here.
Giving the male gaze a hug, and saying "I'm so glad you're here."
Your stranger might know you better than you think; the comment was anonymous, but maybe the writer wasn't.
ReplyDeleteYour anonymous friend may have said something making you into something sexual, objectively speaking, but what do you think it meant to them to say that? Do you think that was their intent? Maybe it doesn't matter either way.
There's more to life than just the male gaze. Some people aren't even familiar with the term.
For me, I try to keep in mind what people mean, and not what they say sometimes. I may not be religious, and I don't believe in prayer, but when someone says that they pray for me, it means something significant regardless, it shows they care.
You're a kind person full of wonderful qualities; people are bound to love you for exactly who you are, and those who don't haven't got a clue.
Last question: do you listen to people who know or to people who haven't got a clue?
Good luck!