Angry Words

The conversation starts like this "Well if she was drunk, she deserves it..." and then I just want to pull out my own hair and yell. But I don't. However every time I hear this phrase I can't help but feel confusion as well as anger to why someone else would say this about another fellow human being.

I continue to think about this, and I believe the male gaze is present even in this statement. Several women are controlling the actions of other women with public humiliation and abandonment. The women who were left behind are always left with this bad reputation, and feel even worse. This statement keeps many other women in line too in order for them to stay present in the social situations.

Also while this statement is said, usually the actions of the equally drunk male are never brought up. Instead it was "her fault" only. This mindset also scares me, because there are so many people who think this. I remember freshman year when all of the freshman had to attend an alcohol workshop with open discussion, and I could not believe the things I heard people say about the woman. This presentation was really cool because both actors were able to reverse roles in alcohol situations. At first the scene started with a young freshman woman who had too much to drink and went into a room with an upper class man. In the next scene instead there was a young freshman male with an upper class female. There were many sympathetic comments for the young freshman male, but the young freshman female was called to quote one person "stupid for getting herself into the situation". I remember feeling worried about this group who I would attend college with.

However, to quote Dumbledore "There is always light even in the darkest of times, one must simply remember to turn on the light." There were equally many speakers who stood up for the freshman woman, which calmed my spirit. So I wonder how can we change this aspect of the male gaze? I believe it can be done, but I wish I knew where to start.