After class, I came back to the dorm and was talking to my friends about the discussion we had today on compliments and receiving them. I asked if they liked getting compliments and what it means to them when they do receive them. They all agreed with what I thought before we discussed it in class today. My thought was that compliments are good and I just go on thinking it was nice of them to notice and mention it. After class, I realized that we are being judged when we receive compliments.
After telling my friends this they all agreed with me and said they never noticed it like that. My friends just thought it was nice of someone to compliment them and now they see that men are actually judging us. We all agree it's nice to know that someone notices us and that we tried to look good that day. But like we said in class, it makes us wonder if we look ugly every other day.
Also, we talked about how the compliment is stated and what is being complimented. Some guys are like, "Wow, you look hot" and that isn't appreciated by anyone. When we talked about that I said that it was almost like an insult but if a guy says "You look cute" or "You look pretty," then it's taken completely different. Or if it's a comment about your ass or something, it's just like wow, you're a jerk, shut up and leave me alone.
Does anyone else feel like what is being complimented and how it is being stated affects the thought of the compliment?
I feel the same way that you did. Before class I always thought that compliments were something to be appreciated. It wasn't like I woke up every morning and got dressed to get compliments, but at the same time I'm not going to say that I didn't appreciate it when someone did compliment me on an outfit that I spent time getting ready. But after class I could see the viewpoint that we talked about. It is almost like we don't look good until a man approves and notices us which we have been talking about in class.
ReplyDeleteWhen I went to work after class, one of the guys that I work with commented on the clothes I was wearing basically saying that I looked good. I explained to him what we talked about in class and he didn't know it could be seen like that. I think by educating people on it, compliments can be seen and used differently but I still do not know how.
I know this is an ongoing discussion in class but I can't get over the difference we makes when complimenting the opposite sex. We use different vocabulary for men than women; for instance, we would never say you look cute or hot, but use sharp or handsome.
ReplyDeleteAs a result of our discussions, I definitely try to be more conscious of what I'm saying and instead of telling someone they look great, I compliment the item as oppose to the person and how they are wearing it. By doing this, I'm attempting to detach the person from the item instead of making them one with the item (i.e. "those shoes are amazing" instead of "those shoes make you and/or your legs amazing" ).